when the bombs fall, take me with you...
i'll keep breathing
you look so cool, in the starlight,
you look so cool...

glass beach & blood rivers - glass beach

homemusicstuffsuper terrible projecttomodachi lifesitemap
discordyoutubemanyland is shutting down
hi. i'm coffeebug, and i'm a blogger girl making music and mistakes. my commissions are open.
my youtube - my music - my discord server - my patreon - my tumblr - my roblox games - sign my guestbook?

Posts on coffeebug's blog:

Posted on November 29
dear diary:
the world is so beautiful and yet so unrelentlessly mean
if i ever get namecheap to work right, i want to have music.midifreak.online lead to a selection of my best songs, and i want tomodachi.midifreak.online to be the apartments' page. something like that. maybe even stpr.midifreak.online. possiblities are endless

anyways life is currently ... fine... i guess.. idk. im just waiting for christmas nd the next time i get paid. im BORED. life is so.. stagnant? its not changing quick enough i guess which is important because i am in a bad spot. idk. im literally rambling because im running off of not much sleep and 0 food im so fucking hungry. sorry, ill edit this later.

my break
Posted on November 27
dear diary:
hello! i looked at a bunch of poll results so my album will probably be $12. if you want to pay more. you can. if you actually buy it i'm putting bonuses in it. the main thing is there's a whole-ass PDF with a LOT of notes on each song, there'll be extras and bonus songs and everything.. i wanna make it worth it, even if a whole lot of songs is already worth it. you'll also be featured in a little section of my website next year. anyways!

i've been coding and drawing the next site update - i think it needs work so far but it'll probably look good in time for 2024. i don't know if i'll do a COMPLETE site redo next year, but i'm definitely not going to do it *now* - i don't feel like it. STPR is still on hold because i don't want to work on it, and HSN is very slowly being put together to make it really, really good. i don't know if i can get it out 1/11 but maybe i will be able to. by the way, i was on thanksgiving break. ...i played a lot of modded stardew valley, i modded it with Expanded and now everyone is a furry and honestly it's great. i spent most of my break doing absolutely nothing. i was resting.. i guess.

i've been wondering today about this future of this website. i want the code for the blog posts to work forever, i want to be able to read them in a few years. i'll probably end up updating once a month but have super long updates or something like that. i feel like i'm gonna throw up. i currently have almost 600k views on Neocities and i wonder how many people actually look at these posts? i wonder how many people regularly read them. probably not many, right? who knows. i'll never grasp the weight of posting something to the internet because who actually knows who's reading this? dear viewer once you stop reading this i will disappear in your mind's eye forever unless i make an imprint on you. and then i'll still die, still disappear. who knows what you're thinking? who knows if you're even here?
maybe i should become a songwriter or something. lol

edit 2:
to recap, here's the info about HSN.
- 20ish songs. Over half an hour runtime
- $12 USD.
- Should come out early 2024.
- Comes with bonus songs, notes on each song, extras.
- Orders above $12 will get MIDIfreak for free alongside it
- If it releases on 1/11 it'll be $11.11 for a month or two,
- and orders in the first week will have a special bonus item
that's basically it

new album: hsn
Posted on November 21
dear diary:
update on my new album, h?????? s????? n????,
it's coming along nicely! i'll probably get the songs mostly finished over december. i can promise a 2024 release date. in the first quarter of the year. i'm thinking if i get everything done earlier than i expect, then it can come out... 1/11? i don't want to stick to the first-day-of-the-year tradition because that's new years' day, and 2/1 is STP2's birthday, so.

let me say there's a LOT of text in the album. each song has a description written like a diary entry, and each song also will have notes associated with it if you buy the album. it'll be $5 on release and include bonus pictures, 2-3 or more bonus songs, i'm half-planning to cover intrusion as a bonus. i don't wanna make it free (on bandcamp) because i'm spending way too much time on this to make it free. but i'll still obviously have a youtube version of the album up. i want everyone to listen to it. i've uploaded a couple song previews, mostly on my discord (which has a couple entire songs from the album),

and musically, i think i'm pushing myself to create something that'd be worthy of calling it better than MIDIfreak.

edit 11/23:
the album will MOST LIKELY be $12. most people i asked said they'd pay 15, my discord said like 10, so its .. in the middlde?

my weekend: #7
Posted on November 20
dear diary:
this weekend i had friends over on saturday, and sunday was basically just spent recovering from it. saturday was pretty awesome - played video games, made an entire board game, went on the trampoline at night, played night at the museum in my backyard. pretty cool. so now i'm back in class. i'm really hungry right now. i kind of want to make a real board game or a book one day. i wanted to make a book out of every blog post from this year but i'm realizing right now that it probably just matters to me and also there's no story it's just my life. i've been working on the 2024 theme, and i think it looks good, but it probably won't be too different than usual. go listen to the CIA - glass beach.

edit: the super mario RPG remake ost is SO FUCKING GOOD. The Road Is Full Of Dangers is actually making me tear up wtf

some old header lines
Posted on November 15
dear diary:

live from world 6!
help im trapped in t he header
it's spooky month!
you are rose.
happy new year 1987!
still cleaning up the viruses that you had left
i'm the antonymph of the internet...
i try to call you every day, what can i say -- when the truth comes out?
still cleaning up the viruses that you had left
i know sometimes love gets hard to find, in a flyover state, that's just a state of mind

Posted on November 14
dear diary:
if you actually read these you should tell me i have no idea who does
i think im going to be very busy this year. i am starting a second club, i run both. prob makes my resume look cooler tbh

how i'm doing today
Posted on November 13
dear diary:
hello... today i'm tired, as usual, i'm just sitting here bored in my first period waiting to do something, because i have to watch our school's god awful news. they try, but i feel like they just waste everyone's time and embarrass themselves in front of everyone. but they obviously don't think that, because they keep doing it.

anyways, i'm making the second episode of a show i've been making with my friends. it's not good, and i'm not linking it here, but i like making it because everyone gets to watch my stupid jokes about crap we did. anyways, my back hurts like a motherfucker,

apart from everything else! my new album is going nicely, i got new plugins that are really good, they're used in the one about the storm. stpr is on indefinite hiatus because, well, i just don't want to work on it right now it kinda makes me want to barf. i've never talked about it in-depth, but i'm still recovering from being fired from WWOO. i don't know how a whole 30 people can collectively decide they don't like me and two years of free work and loyalty mean nothing but whtever i guess. its over now. i jjust dont like the demon that's hung over my shoulder, remindering me every time i have an empty mind about it, but i've actually been getting better at ingoring him lately, too. i've been recovering from this. none of them will ever understand how much they hurt my mind, destroyed me, but i think that's okay. and if they read this, they'll just laugh at me. and that's okay. i'm trying to get over it. i'm trying to live and be happy.
see you later.


feeling terrible today
Posted on November 9
dear diary:
today i'm not doing good at all. i woke up and got ready as usual but for some reason i just have this looming gender dysphoria over me today. i just feel horrible, i haven't spoken a word all morning, i don't want to hear myself talk, and usually i can get by fine anyways without talking, at least probably until 3rd hour. so i'm just kind of here, ready to crumble in my own world, as fragile as a blade of grass that's also on fire.
see you later

my weekend: #6
Posted on November 7
dear diary:
this weekend i had state finals, and it felt like a complete NIGHTMARE. our local Dumbass was being stupid so we didn't have the computer we needed - this meant we didn't have a synth. we were able to use a different one so i could quickly recreate the show's patches on it but our voicelines were messed up and everything just. went wrong. anyways, that entire, like, 24 hours was just the dumbest shit i've ever done, and my body still hurts from it. it's been two days.

i haven't been working on STPR. i worked a little bit on the new album though. but i haven't had motivation to do anything recently,and i don't today. i just don't want to. i've been playing video games alot. just trying to rest but i can't, really. at least i haven't had any huge depressive episodes. i am kinda lonely though, physical affection eludes me constantly. it does a lot of people. it's ok.


its octover
Posted on November 1
dear diary:
last night it snowed pretty hard and i went trick-or-treating anyways and onw i have a rawer fully of candy. worth it. i'll probably write more later, but this is all i have to talk about for now.

edit: i spent like an hour updating to tomodachi apartment webring. i added, i think, 20 new people? here they are: trinityexe, sunwukong, welcometolaplace, transrats, fulvern, caitsith, key404, silvervine16, zonks27, dropandspindash, virtuagirl, butt0n-z, pixelfishkitty, spettri, followthewhiterabbit, chronodove, heirofslime, madeinv, jojjo, and philia995.

edit 2: god, i feel like SHIT again. i want to live but i don't know how to deal with the pain of living, and it makes me want to stop


my weekend: #5
Posted on October 30
dear diary:
tomorrow is halloween! i'm dressing up as twilight sparkle. if i feel like it i'll (gasp!) post a picture of my outfit here. i'm getting slowly more confident in myself so maybe. anyways,
last night i saw FNAF with my friends, and it was really good! movie spoilers: i think the story was good, it was tidy enough for me to understand, and i don't know, like, a ton about FNAF. my row was excited when matpat showed up, and the animatronics actually looked really good! i kinda thought there'd be more of a "game" section of the movie where he'd be, like, you know, flipping the lights n stuff. but that wasn't there, but that's okay. i think the ending where abby saved the kids with a drawing was kinda goofy, but honestly the whole movie's dumb silly, so whatever. i loved it.
that was on sunday. on saturday, our band went to, like, semifinals or something? there were 12 bands that showed up there. we were in the bottom two last week, so we were in danger of not going to state finals, because the bottom two wouldn't go. our band is probably the smallest in our flight and nobody thought we'd get to go to state, but we ended up placing higher than we thought, in the top 10, and everyone cheered so loudly when we heard that and my throat hurt and i'd never seen everyone is super high spirits like that before. so this week we're going to state finals with our small band, and i swear to god we're gonna sound amazing. i play synth, i do voice lines, i switch patches the whole time, i think my part makes everything sound amazing (especially with the strings!). ..anyways, after this week my legs are going to turn into a fine powder. just mush. but it's ok! i'm actually really enjoying band this year so far and i'm excited we get one more week to perfect it all.

anyways, tomorrow i'm going to my friend's house for halloween.

about projects and stuff: i am looking for people to help develop STPR. if you have skills in spriting, writing, or SMBX, please contact me! i'm looking for people to help look over my story and playtesters and maybe someone to make extra levels. or make my levels longer. i know i have a problem with making really short levels. anyways, bye, thank you for listening.

life is so beautiful
Posted on October 27
dear diary:
isn't the world so fucking beautiful?
like, i really like going on video game wikis and finding all the little secrets and watching ideos to see all the details and easter eggs of them... i want to apply this to real life. i wanna see all i can. i want to learn about nature. i want to learn all of life's intricacies, i want to learn everything i can about the world because it's so beautiful and there's so much to know about...

i really hope the world isnt so much more fucked up by the time i have to do things. like get a job. which i do not have. except for commissions, but sadly i haven't had one in, like, over a year?? like i'm a lot better now but somehow i still dont have any? i still have cosmic's music to do but he has to not pay me for a bit (i understand) but still i have nothing to do. it isnt so much the money but i guess more the, like, feeling of mattering? i don't know. i haven't felt like i've mattered to anything in a while... i've felt lonely and hopeless the past month, i have good reason to feel like that.
tomorrow i have another band comp (could be our last) and sunday i'm gonna see FNAF with friends.

and, hey, if you read the more sensitive part of this blog, can you tell me if you did? i remember someone commented on something i wrote on this blog once in my discord dms and it really meant a lot to me..

edit: for some reason, April is the only month to write "April 21st" instead of "April 21"

my weekend #4
Posted on October 23
dear diary:
my weekend was pretty.. ok. we had a band comp on saturday and it went fine. i did cry once. on friday and sunday i worked on the new bomb girl video. yes, there are secrets in it. they're not very hidden, but that's on purpose.
i'm going to try and connect all the stories together. i will use everything.

weird thing, though: i keep seeing this weird symbol. it's a red eye (like an eye outline) with five lines sticking out from the bottom (paced evenly, like eyelashes) and with an X in the middle where the pupil would be..

im tiiiired...
Posted on October 20
dear diary:
hey. im super tired but at least i get out early today. yesterday i had friends over, that was pretty cool
cant believe i have to completely avoid mario wonder until i can gt my hands on it (maybe next month?)
ive been thinking about college a lot lately for some reason. whatever
thinking about STPR (i havent been working on it that much) and also the new coffeebug video and also also the new album that i let my friends see yesterday, they said i was good at music i guess i could be
also, they made a song on my computer. it is not good (they know) and i will post it

my weekend
Posted on October 16
dear diary:
on saturday we had a band thing and it sucked lol
we spent all day doing the thing just for the speaker system to not work and we got last place. great. not our best attempt

on another note, developing STPR has been great! i've been working on world 2 (see below) and probably working on the secret w...

Posted on October 13
dear diary:
last night i animated my new.. "sona", for a little video about my commissions. i think it turned out good! i drew her in google slides and edited the frames in aseprite so it all looks nice
its been raining a lot more recently! i like the rain, and i love autumn, but i am scared that the rain will turn to snow in about a month. at least i can enjoy it for now, i suppose.
i've started working on stpr's 2nd world, also. i'm using a tileset i found off of spriter's resource because it looked better than the grass i tried to draw, but ill probably draw some grass tiles on top anyways. im excited to work on it and show everyone because i think at least someone is excited for more of stpr. i hope. i hope you guys like it

below: the bomb animation

ok... bye.

addendum: i really hope i live. intrusive thoughts have been swarming my mind a LOT recently. i rally want to live, but it hurts to. and i . feel very. alone.
so cold

new album 2024?
Posted on October 12
dear diary:
shopping list:
  • I've been stuck inside for ages.
  • Firstly.. I think something's following me, and I think it's her.
  • What do you do when you're being followed by paranormal sticky notes?
  • Ahh.. I wish I was a bug. I could eat leaves and junk all day and nobody would mind.
  • You do NOT know how excited and very, very confused this makes me.
See you later.

stpr updates
Posted on October 9
dear diary:
i am the only person working on it, so please excuse delays or waits.

the first patch, v1.1, comes out soon - later today maybe?
it'll include a long-lost friend, and some updates to the game to make it more awesome.
as for world 2, it's work in progress! i don't have any sprites done, but i have music for the town, the levels, and a song from Oxymoron* is coming back! yay!

*if you stuck around long enough to remember Project: Oxymoron, i want to give you a thousand hugs.

apart from that, an old character from STP2 that never got to be seen is coming back, redesigned, and with them, is another song i've made before - something from bugpony, maybe?

Saloon (Project: Oxymoron) - Super Terrible Project: Revenge (work in progress)

Version 1.1 of Super Terrible Project: Revenge is out

Posted on October 5
dear diary:
on a day like today i would think that i didnt matter and then i would believe it
i foeel horrible mentally and physically, and i want to do nothing more than be at home, next to the open window, resting
i might do that.
i'm proud of myself for having survived, but i want to throw up, i feel like i should be dead
should i be dead? i feel so.. alone

i don't really have a good reason to stay alive right now, and i definitely need one

Posted on October 3
dear diary:
never mind
yesterday i got the first proper review for STPR at it was really positive!!! so now i feel a lot more motivated to keep going with it. i'm working on patch 1.1 right now, it's gonna change some old junk and fix the problems with it, and then i'll start working on demo 2, which will include world 2, the old forest. it's gonna! be! good! i know it! and i'm gonna try to FINISH IT!!! unlike stp2. lol.
anyways, today's gimmick is an EasyShare C180 i found in my room and put batteries in. it's kind of trash, but i find it hilarous that i take take 2010 (2008?) quality video now, so there's that. i feel good today.
until next time

doing horrible
Posted on October 2
dear diary:
last night i survived the worst panic attack / mental breakdown of my life. (i want to say "by far" but honestly i don't know if that's true.) so anyways, i've been doing horrible lately. what do i live for? i don't know, music? i can't talk to music, though, it's not a tangible thing. i don't know what to do with myself. i guess i could work on stpr or something. i don't know, i feel like i lost all motivation to do everything. i feel so.. lost and empty, i guess.. it hurts, you know?

on an unrelated note, i hate motivational poets.

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