dear diary:
feeling so-so once again. pretty depressed right now, which is weird because i'm in class, and that doesn't usually happen. i feel extremely lonely. just separated from everyone else. i don't connect to anyone here. other topic:
i've been working on WWOO a bit but i'm mad at lynn right now. my music for the show has been really good, though. and in general.
i don't feel good.
updates on projects: next STP is on hold until i figure out what i want to do with it, and how to write the music for it, and until i get a new computer. my next album is coming, it'll be a little different, but it'll be good. i have to re-compose each song again to sound coherent. there will be, most likely, SEVEN songs. two of them i've posted snippets of on my youtube already :)
i'm also working on two videos for sunday and monday:
Bones, very special, and Encore, releasing on the two-year anniversary of the song.
i'm going now
dear diary:
hi! yesterday i got a new phone with DATA!!! finally i can Get Free Wifi Anywhere I Go
everyone else has had data for the longest time, so it's cool for me that i have that too.
if anyone wants to help out on an object show, i'm making one with my friend lynn. yo can go to wwooshow.neocities.org to sign up. i'd like to meet some of you guys there! (i make all the music for the show. i'll post some here later today.)
dear diary:
hi! i saw the mario movie today with friends. it was kind of an impulse thing, i didn't think we'd go but i had the money and the theater was right there in the mall so.. we went. it was pretty good! they got the original voice of Mario in there too but i can't say anything 'cause nobody's watched it yet. excited to listen to this fucker's OST when it finally releases!
March ────────────────────────────────────────────────o
hi! i'm on spring break. i've been not very okay lately but i've been making a bit of music... so here's some for a project i might work on:
YK-intro
YK-bossloop
coffeebug intro jingle
i've also got some concept art. i'm gonna share it instead of hoarding it for months!
ok bye i'm done
dear diary:
today at lunch i played mario kart home circuit in school. very fun to mess w/ people irl :)
firstly, i use FL Studio 21. most of my instruments are soundfonts! i don't use exactly the same ones each time, but the soundfonts i do use frequently are Undertale, Earthbound, Live HQ Natural Soundfont GM*, the Dore Yamaha piano**, and the windows Wavetable Synth GM soundfont. i also use FLEX a lot! their Rhodes E.Piano is in a lot of my stuff. other VSTs I use are NES VST and Magical 8bit Plugin***. i have a korg ek-50 as my main keyboard, and it has served me very well the past two years. somehow i haven't broken it yet. i'll add more to this section if i think of anything!
* I fucking love the drums.
** I have no idea where I got this soundfont. Sorry.
*** I use M8BP a lot more than NES VST now.
here is an island and pony tour! (click image to open) (fixed 4/13)
bug and her sister berry
berry's blueberry stand!
basically the whole island
their house!
dear diary:
hi! i updated the music player with new music! i also updated the sidebar (i like it looking like i'm a free user on some ancient blog site.)
dear diary:
hi! i called a water fountain a "water bottle feeder" today. unrelated: i like how crypto shit is crumbling. it's very hard to manage :)
dogulas the rat is here
am i ready to start the emo girl phase of laying in my bed, listening to music through broken airpods...?
dear diary:
hi! my birthday was yesterday, it was the best day of this year and the best for a while. i went to the mall with friends, equipped with $200, and spent a LOT of money at hot topic. it was really fun, i wanna spend the rest of my birthday money at the mall soon, and get some new clothes for myself! i really need some new ones.
i got splatoon 3, mario maker 2, and SM3DW, and playing mario maker has kind of inspired me to make more SMBX2 stuff - but maybe not? this is so much easier.. i'll share some levels when i get home.
dear diary:
the excitement of my birthday is keeping me going strong. also, stardew valley. i've been playing it a LOT recently.
(side note: i have the pac-man back bling (clyde) in fortnite, and i think he is adorable. i'm excited for the new season in about a week!)
Feburary ────────────────────────────────────────────────o
dear diary:
the neocities reached 100k views today. that's cool
life is still not favourable, though it is okay. i suppose.
my birthday is in one week. i am excited
feburary 28 thoughts:
garfield
dear diary:
i've been playing a lot of minecraft and fortnite lately i have also been sad lately i hate this life
dear diary:
I FINISHED OFF AND PAPERS, PLEASE. THEY ARE VERY DIFFERENT GAMES.
OFF was a journey.. i streamed it the whole time, and it was great. the ending, though sad, was reasonable given the lore..
i have to compliment the map design, characters, and music!! (also i just like the Elsen(s?) )
papers, please, however... very different.
it has a vibe unlike any other game i've played, and i hope that's saying something. it was enjoyable reading the wiki as i played it, and i recommend playing it on PHONE for once, because it's just easier.
also, i got two fortnite solo wins today, so that's something. night.
dear diary:
i feel like one neocities website should be called a "neocity".
garfield should be a community run comic, imo. it'd be cool if you could submit comics. it'd also be cool if garfield did a form break again
also, i don't like the new artstyle
dear diary:
hi! i've been thinking about doing something with Oni (my youtube PFP). they're really cool. i think there's a picture of them on my stuff page if you're interested.
also, i'm updating the site. i wanna put a little more emphasis on the sidebar
surprisingly, nobody's commented on me using FNAF OCs on the top of my page.
dear blog:
headlines recently - "toy story 5, frozen 3, zootopia 2 confirmed!!" i don't think disney outright confirmed toy story 5 - the story is done! frozen MAYBE has some potential, but i'm most excited for zootopia. the world does have a lot going on, and another adventure with Small Rabbit and Weirdly Shaped Dog would be fun.
i know toy story 5 isn't explicitly confirmed -- it could be a spin-off. from Iger himself: "And today, I'm so pleased to announce that we have sequels in the works from our animation studios to some of our most popular franchises: Toy Story, Frozen, and Zootopia." this doesn't super duper confirm toy story 5, but could be interpreted as a spin-off -- or maybe that's just wishful thinking from someone who doesn't want a toy story 5. i don't know. see ya.
dear diary:
i've felt very gender and body dysphoric lately. i hate myself a lot more than i should.
edit: i really wanna make k.k. robot synth into a more vocaloid-sounding song. link i need to look at later: (reddit link that, anticlimatically, contained literally nothing.)
dear diary:
i've been playing wonder boy: the dragon's trap a lot lately!! it's a VERY fun game and it looks absolutely BEAUTIFUL -- it also plays very nicely. it's a great action adventure platformer where you can change forms and solve puzzles realted to your forms - and fight enemies and the boss are all kinda hot dragons? yes please
anyways, it's really good. :3
also, look at my featured song for another STP preview
dear diary:
okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties cause it's coooold out there today
today is groundhog day. nothing much has been happening lately but i did finish a new commission ^_^
January ────────────────────────────────────────────────o
dear diary:
the new STP game is coming along nice. it looks great.
[Broken link. It was a "LIVE TUCKER REACTION" meme replaced with Mario.]
here's a preview of the OST:
[Broken link. It was a song from STPR. Probably the old version of Purple Forest.]
apart from STP, i've not been good lately. angry and depressed, but i don't really want to talk about that right now. until later
dear diary:
i think Super Terrible Project will be returning soon.
dear diary:
my mental health has been so-so and fluctating lately. i think i'm okay right now, though. i posted some ear-chocolate new music on my tumblr blog, for my new EP.
dear all:
i made a webring for weird and obscure video games! go to this page to join it and view the info
dear diary:
is there anything special about today? idk
will try to get new music out later today ig
dear diary:
i run the lgbtq+ club at school.. once great with three co-owners, now it is just me, and the life is drained from the club as only 3 people show up every week. i am losing energy and faith in it.
really... i'm losing faith in myself, a bit. i'm exhausted, i can't manage creating music anymore. notice how i haven't uploaded a song in like two weeks? it's not from lack of trying. do i need a break, or do i need a change in my life? do i need happiness to create? do i need purpose, fulfillment? i don't know.
with every passing day, my question grows louder: does anyone care about me?
dear website:
you can now play super terrible project (and hh) in your browser. :)
dear website:
i re-wrote my commission info. please check it out if you want to spend 10-15 bucks on okay music. :)
dear diary:
i finally finished the harry potter series today, and despite the creator's shit stance on most things, i gotta say that it was the best book series i've ever read. lore introduced at a pace easy to understand, characters i loved, and a wonderful world. 10/10 to the books, -3/10 to j.k. rowling for being a terf bitch.
dear diary:
the stuff and music pages have been added, but music is WIP for now.
edit 1: the OpenDyslexic font toggle is back
dear diary:
my yearbook class makes me very anxious.
i don't really have any friends at this school. i have peers, i have people who know who i am, but in terms of someone i talk to every day, share interests with, hang out with... no-one. i used to have two best friends here, but one graduated and one moved. i have nobody to talk to. i keep to myself.
and it's hell, y'know? i'm not a quiet person. i am talkative. i just happen to have that combo'd with stupid social anxiety, i can't talk to people, and i am afraid of trying to. it's impossible.
so i write out my thoughts for someone to read. it's good to get them out. i just hope things can change -- they'll have to, or i'll continue slowly dying by myself.
dear diary:
new semester of school just started. i'll update this post as it happens.
i run the school gay club, we got our tshirt orders today (pic later).
i'm looking through my explosion game update concepts from last march. i called it the "forest update". i am thinking of merging "explosion hill 2008" with it.
dear everyone:
my 2023 goals are as follows:
- make and release an EP
- release some kind of continuation to STP
- get more goth clothes
- hang out with people more
- learn to like myself
December 2022 ───────────────────────────────────────────o
dear everyone:
as you may have noticed, i'm redoing my website! i got bored of it.
this is the first version of the site to FINALLY use a style.css page, and the code is a lot cleaner than before, mostly because now i've learned a lot about HTML.
i really like this blog-central design, small text, very nice colors, etc, and i really like the 'night' feel it's got (i didnt even plan that.)
it's not done yet! tomorrow i'll finish up decoration, buttons, and the other pages. in the meantime, you can view the old page here.
dear diary:
i uploaded my final video of 2022. next year teases another project trailer. :)
dear diary:
i got art block! that's fun.
anyways i got sick of my GM soundfonts for some reason.. but, i got some new realistic-sounding sf2s and they sound really good! i made three songs with them and they're gonna be up on my youtube soon, they're up on my tumblr. i will be posting my music on tumblr FIRST from now on.
forgot to add: i got a new Switch for christmas and i've been addicted to Animal Crossing for the past few days. if i can visit your island please dm me on discord
dear diary:
i think i need to fix the fonts on this page lol
anyways, i made a soundfont! it's a collection of instruments i use frequently / just like :)
blog time. i am going to the mall with friends on the 23rd, that's pretty cool and i want to . i plan to get my computer fixed sometime next year, so then i can finally do cool shit again (explosion game update.)
12/21 update!
hi! i reset my computer so i can use it better, and i can actually work on things now!
super terrible project 2 is cancelled, and me and tlaylormusic are figuring out what to do with it. there will probably be a third installment.
kaia's explosion game got updated! i fixed most of the badges, added a bit new stuff, i plan to add more later! i want to expand the empty hill to the right of the coffee shop, expand the entire area into one big box area, and add to the forest... but that's not all, haha.
i want to add crossroads-esque buildings on the hill, make it taller, bigger, etc etc. the builds can be explored and blown up, and there will be npcs to attack there. i will also add lore. i will ALSO ALSO be expanding the main building! i want to add offices, cubicles, bedrooms, a bathroom (looking exactly like the one in spamton mcdonalds 2), and more. that's all i have planned.
lastly, i gave spamton mcdonalds 2 a new trailer today! it's fun, and i love it. i hope it gets people into the game.