i shouldn't have to keep doing this Posted on May 3
i don't know how to deal with my trust being shattered, but i will deal with it. i woke up this morning and i'm going to continue to wake up. i'm going to survive for the sake of myself.
Posted on may two
i wont be blogging here for a while, probably. i wont be sharing anything personal for a long time. i cant trust the people that read my posts.
Track 4: Aero Posted on April 25
blood on my hands, blood on my hands, blood on my hands, blood on my
hello! i havent been working on that much lately. i started making a new Miku song for a certain fangame... i'm listening to Toybox a lot, too. all the songs sound really good, and i'm VERY proud of my work! i REALLY like track two... there's so many subtle things happening throughout the song that i can zone out and listen to. i'm really excited to everyone to listen to it :3
in real life news, i've been super distant from my main friend group lately and nobody's fucking said anything! i was waiting for someone to even NOTICE but nobody said anything to me yet so whatever i guess they dont care that much. anyways,
if you find my secret blog, shhhh
my weekend #12 Posted on April 22
it's getting harder to edit on this chromebook, because it has a memory of exactly one kilobyte. anyways! hello! my weekend was so-so, very very sleepy... iunno why. my tumblr got a lot of notes and new followers and i think im gonna get therian mutuals ??? HOORAY!!!
on that topic - yes, i am a therian. i'm accepting this part of myself as something that i truly, genuinely want to be. (bryan, if you're reading this, hi) i really like barking and howling and just being puppy... its actually a name im kind of going by on the neocities discord (you should join btw its awesome) and i like it. iunno. if you're a therian i'd like to talk to you about it, learn about shifting and phantom limbs, stuff like that... i haven't had either!!! i cannot express in text how much i want to experience either of these things. shifts i'm especially interested in... especially the harry potter ones where (apparently) you go to hogwarts for like 2 weeks and when you come back you make a tiktok about it. that seems really really interesting to me... im like to know more about it. but whatever lol
anyways, toybox comes out next month. its awesome. love you goodnight
edit 4/23: i forgot -- thank you for a million neocities views!!!
that was weird! Posted on April 17
nothing much has happened lately except:
- federifederi deleted its page after massive backlash
- toybox (album 3) is nearing completion
- super terrible project revenge continued slow development
- i am still doing end-of-year tests
- the therian side of myself is coming out further
once i'm on summer break, i'll probably start making a lot more stuff! i also, uh, have a download for you all later today, when i get home. it's for 3ds users. (i'll update my /stuff page.)
im cooked Posted on April 12
I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY LIFE! anyways, i updated my webring box to look a lot nicer, i might continue updating this page to a new layout (but i am busy with classes). album 3, Toybox, is coming out sometime in the next month. probably. i like having a webring! the Tomodachi ring is still on hiatus, mostly because it's annoying as hell to update and i really don't want to. so it might not even be coming back at all. or i might make it way simpler!! idk. maybe that.
where have you been Posted on April 8
i'm back today and i'm doing a little better?
i changed up musicso you can see everything major i released, including whatever's planned to come out, WINK WINK. anyways, about the blog i mentioned last time - i didnt actually do anything with that. it's a landing page with some art on it that i may or may not update.
what WILL be updated is this page. i think i want to change it again, even though it's only been... not even two months! but i want something different, i think. iunno. maybe. so!
about EP 4 - it's coming along really nicely, but that's because it's part of a much bigger project with germpills and it's going to take a while to be finished. ALBUM 3 is coming along nice, though there's one song (rather, a bunch of songs,) that are causing a bit of a hold up... because they're vocal songs. writing is hard! so i was thinking i write a bunch of those into a hypothetical EP 5, along with webcatz, who i am worried about. (shes been pretty absent from my discord) - anyways, music writing is okay. i still don't have any commissions, and at this point i dont think im ever going to get any again. thanks cosmic again. ok bye. im also getting a new 3ds today.
???? Posted on April 6
sorry for not posting this week. ive been... trying to be alive, and i haven't been doing very good at it. i don't know who i am still and i havent been doing great at realizing that. so i set up another blog to talk to different types of people. if you know me irl or have known me irl please god do not look for it please i dont want you to see it anyways i love you . albbum 3 this year sometimes. thanks elly and cosmic
preview Posted on April 2
... Posted on March 28
thanks bryan and ivy happy birthday kira
identity Posted on March 26
hey blog! one day i will stop posting forever. before then, i can write: i'm having this weird sort of personal identity crisis, as is usual. the disconnect between [the me that i want to be] and [the me that i currently am] is growing ever greater with each passing day, and especially yesterday. i'm really into..... the... ....the puppygirl stuff*... and i do use pup/pups neopronouns. yesterday was the first time anyone ever used those for me, and it was really nice ^_^ but dissonant. i feel like i have, like, two or four completely different personalities in me. and they all want out. (to clarify, i'm not talking about multiple identities, like DID. i dont have that, i think (strongly).) anyways, so thats just how ive been... im struggling. im very.. very lonely. and im restless for change. guess im just waiting?
*you heard of transgender catgirls... its like that. exactly like that. barking for no reason and wearing cute ears. i love that shit wholeheartedly and i know its fucking weird and cringe. i might go so far into it and come out a therian, too, but the possibility of me being a therian is still something i have to think about - and i dont have any therian friends, so it's not like i can talk to anyone about this.
read the second paragraph Posted on March 21
doing awful today right now, i guess. i'm super hungry. i'm tired and messy and dysphoric. anyways... i started a stardew valley save file because of 1.6. i sure would love if someone wanted to play on it with me but ivy and germ dont have it. thank you ivy by the way ... i'm sorry.
i wanna start using "Web" as a nickname. ivy said i should 'bite the bullet and stick to one name' but unfortunately that is literally impossible for me right now. so im throwing shit at the wall to see what i like. and i like Brooke and Web. web wouldnt be a real name.. just a nickname and an online alias. its better than my legal name at least. i dont know if i eveer mentionedit here but its uper weird so... what ever... so... yeah. thanks to the two or threepeople that messaged me about last post. i love you
the confessions of a girl who doesnt know who she is Posted on March 18 CIS AND TRANS WOMEN I NEED YOUR HELP DESERATELY
i need to know where to find ESTROGEN AND GIRL CLOTHES for a safe, relatively low cost. ESPECIALLY ESTROGEN. if you have experience with getting this shit without a perscription PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TALK TO ME. MY DISCORD IS MIDIFREAK. PLEASE. i also need to know what voice training is best.
the real blog post:
so ! i think i'm a therian? i don't know, but using pup/puppy neopronouns genuinely makes me happy, so that's something. i do use those pronouns by the way*, just ask to use them if you want to first, i'm still "testing them out" but i love them. anyways. i do like the idea of identifying more as an animal, though i see entirely how this could be (and is) percieved as FUCKING WEIRD and NOT NORMAL. because it isn't normal (which is to say - because there is no normal, it isn't "the norm") and it's weird and shit and whatever. this comes entirely because of the next section of this blog post - i am struggling with my identity. i look in the mirror and sometimes i see myself and sometimes i see this shambling mess of parts that's somehow breathing and alive and it's all weird and shit. sometimes i feel like a human and sometimes i feel like .. just a THING and i never feel like a girl. i don't like myself and i need money to change myself - i cant make that money right now so whatever who cares. ill hide behind the screen because thats where i dont HAVE to hide, you know? anyways... goodnight and i love you
alone Posted on March 15
(pretty much a vent post)
i feel like im still waiting for things to change even though they already did with the computer. i guess im just waiting for life to get better. i'm really lonely... i'm just kind of trudging through each day. nothing is happening. i wasted all of yesterday. i feel so empty. so i dont know. i dont have any projects or goals right now; i am directionless. i am working towards nothing. i cried last night.
so... sorry for the depressing blog post. cosmic if you're reading this i'm sorry i keep meaning to respond to you but i'm really really bad at it. thank you for reading these thank you for caring about me i'm sorry bryan if you're reading thisi need to talk to you about something later tonight maybe later than that
the past week Posted on March 11
it's been a bit... i have a LOT to talk about so this post will be edited throughout the day. i think i burnt out from blogging HARD so i didnt want to type much but i will now because i havent in like a week. anyways: i finally got a new computer! i spent the weekend messing with it and while it can't run EVERYTHING i throw at it, it cant run pretty much everything i want to throw at it. it's really expensive so that's good. i can play like every game i want to now, so i joined my friend's minecraft server. very cool puter.
anyways: i tried a dating app. (CLARIFICATION: it's a "make friends" app. people date over it.) over the last, like, week. dating is super hard when you're trans and super weird, which made sense that i only saw like 2-3 other trans people. i left after a week because the people on there suck and also it's like 70% straight guys. app sucks. (post isnt done)
the vent part of the post: so i'm having a little bit of an identity thing. i dont associate with any name and typing it out makes me feel fucking sick. i go by Brooke on here but nobody says it (or she/her enough) for me to really associate with it. its probably because i also go by a different name in real life so that clashes with it. i dont want to tell my parents about my new name because itll probably make them confused as to whgy i wanted a new name and also maybe angry i dont know. i just know i dont feel like i go by any name. most days i dont even feel like a girl. i dont feel like anything, i dont even feel human, im just this THING shambling around everywhere, making some people happy and smiling but i feel like also that i'm the only one really struggling with my identity. i fucking hate being trans. im struggling to figure out how to be a person and also i have to figure out who i am. i dont know who i am. i dont feel like anything anymore. i have friends but i dont have anybody i truly connect with. "nobody understands me" you could say. nobody knows i want to be a therian and nobody knows i want to die and nobody knows me it's just fragments of these stupid fucking personalitys i invented to show off to everybody and i hate it. i feel like im never going to be a personality i want to be. im never going to have the body or the clothes or the voice to be who i want to be and it fucking sucks because that just means all my life im going to be waiting for something that never comes. i hate this. im typing all this out because i really need somebodys help with this. even just comments on it would be nice, because i know nothing ever changes. nothings ever going to change and its going to get worse and worse and worse and worse. the girl inside me is never going to come out and play and its going to keep getting worse. i will never be myself. i can never be myself.
christmas eve basically Posted on March 4
tomorrow is my birthday! i'm really excited and also very scared for it says it should rain tomorrow... He'll Yeah.
do people actually go to prom? why would you pay $60 to go to some stupid dance? any ways - the next week is probably gonna be Pretty damn good. i should be able to get a new computer (!!) FINALLY... my laptop right now was only meant to run windows 7 and its graphics card is super outdated. it's a piece of junk but, hey, it works OKAY i guess. i also wanna get a new 3ds, i think i talked about that already; the one i'm looking at is an original midnight purple model and god it looks PRETTY. yesterday i went to the thrift store near my House and i found a garfield plush from the 80s. it is currently my favorite possession. anyways bye
god im tired from blogging for 30 days straight Posted on March 1
on break from blogging
Feburary ()))
LEAP DAAYYYYYY Posted on February 29
finally... bloguary is over...
happy leap year day! i've blogged so much i want to throw up.
plans for the tomodachi life page are:
- completely redo the window icons (i started this)
- windows can show a 16x16 picture instead of the thought
- custom color pop-up background, maybe image?
- 88x31 PLUS a tagline... long overdue.
- better optimized JS code
- redone photo album
today i get to go out to eat and tomorrow is friday.
its the 28th Posted on February 28
the Month of Blog is coming to a close, finally... tomorrow will probably have a pretty long post, but i am absolutely burnt the fuck out from blogging so much. anyways, ive been thinking about the new tomodachi life page. it'll probably come... next month... sometime next month, idk when. stay tuned. (this post might be updated later.)
edit: five hearts today - FIVE!!! one GF, two marriages. two of them went after taken men. that's weird.
my day, i guess Posted on February 27
i really want a new 3ds for my birthday, which by the way, is march 5th. ive been thinking about tomodachi life a lot.. in the neocities disc. (in #img) i wrote a lot about a tomodachi life remake i want to try and create one day - a complete port of the game, but optimized for PC and with a LOT of new content. anyways, today i stayed home. i didn't do fucking anything productive again which i guess is okay but i kind of hate myself for it. i really dont have a project to work on right now... so idk. please do the poll
AI Text post Posted on February 26 In an effort to make Midifreak.online better for every user, we've decided to start incorporating AI text posts onto the website. These will be alongside the regular blogs except it's the robots telling you how their day went, because that's what a blog is, and that's our brand.
Hello. Today I sat in a server farm outside Vegas all day. That is because I am a computer robot. Thank you for your human reading time.
fuck m Posted on February 25
still feel liike crap. and i know its not gonna get better much because i have to go and see irl people tomorrow. so wish me luck in not fucking dying?
vent Posted on February 24
i feel like shit today i went to the mall and the thrift store and i like what i got but also i just do not feel like a girl or any gender and that s really bad because thats bad and i really want to feel like a girl please just let me feel like one for a little bit i just want to act like one and feel like one i really should start wearing my bras more but theyre not comfortablt and i cant afford a better one and i really fucking hate myself i fucking hate this i fucking hate this i fcuking hate this i fucking hate this i fcuking thate tejhdfndskjfakjsdfdsafsda
29 Posted on February 23
you know, i dont actually like how squished the blogs are right here, but i dont know how to fix it. also leap year's day is gonna have something come out on that day. ok bye... my miku song is good..
hug Posted on February 22
im scared im gonna die tonight! im also excited for my birthday! and scared. im scared a lot tonight. i need a hug but i know it will not happen.
terria Posted on February 21
currently playing terraria with ivy. she's cool and good at video game and shes getting fucked up by man eaters lol
rest Posted on February 20
learned a bit of JS today. if you're reading this, ivy, tell me? thanks getting very very tired... week is almost over, though. it will be time to rest tomorrow. then i can work on other things but i never will! just rest
transmission music video Posted on February 19
remastering TRANSMISSION to be released as a single alongside a music video!!!! i think it'll go well.. i've never done a lyric video before so i've been preparing that. i made the first half of the remastered track a while ago, and listening to it just now, it does sound really good!! it's a lot less messy. a lot cleaner. a lot more synth-heavy. a lot more awesome, obviously. that'll come out... eventually.. idk when.
late night thoughts: 10pm Posted on February 18
today i went to the store and we bought cool shit. i got more stickers to add to my collection and i'm gonna organize them all into a folder :) im gonna buy some more later! short little blog today to keep my streak up
almost-midnight thoughts Posted on February 17
thought i wasnt gonna post today HUH? its 11:54pm ... i spent all day 1) with friends and 2) playing hypnospace. i really like this new website design... i think. maybe. idk. makes me feel like i should be playing a character. i think it will fulfill that want to be a page you can check in on every day, though. yeah.
road kill Posted on February 16
dear diary: today i had a really good nap in second hour. im gonna work onmy website later maybe but i might not get that much time to. so ill do it later. roadkill (my pig) is watching tv. i had to cover his eyes when they showed gross stuff. i odont want his brain to be messed up and violent . see you later
NEW LAYOUT ANNOUNCEMENT Posted on February 15
i am replacing STRIDE with STAR STICKER. i'm really happy with it!!! view it here!
valentime! Posted on February 14
dear diary:
today is valentimes day!!! i will never stop saying it like that
again i'm alone irl, nobody to give treats to, but that's okay because it doesn't matter! im in a great mood today; last night i got my order of a bunch of stuff - star/heart bracelets, fingerless gloves (glowinthedark skeleton and checkered), and some shiny rainbow star stickers that look like they came right out of 4th grade but i love them anyways. so im feeling extra nice today and im gonna work on getting my neocity drawn up so i can make it all look super cool! ill probably update this blog later so check back? bye :)
Hypnospace Outlaw: Thoughts Posted on February 13
(part 1: the night of)
It's such a profoundly amazing experience that I don't know how to describe it.
The experience of seeing all these interesting people reviewing things, blogging their thoughts, and sharing their media makes me dearly want to visit their pages every day to see what's updated... dearly. But they do not exist, and I only have three existing archives of their websites to see, ever.
I want to become the person that I'd want to check regularly. I don't know if I'm going to act on this desire, but if I do, it means I'm going to start posting reviews, more music, and everything I can think of, all in a new, extremely fun design. I want to do this because I want the internet to be as fun as Hypnospace was.
You let me down
(part 2: the morning after)
....so i think i might be doing some of the stuff i mentioned.. i wanna make the website super fun and put out a lot of stuff. but thatll take some work... complete sign redesign for 2024 might come after all..?
this game is going to kill me
HYPNOSPACE MOD Posted on February 12
you can have my website (kinda) in Hypnospace!!! here's what it looks like in-game:
hi! ive been modding hypnospace and i know i said that but im gonna elborate:
i planned to not release it but now i do plan to release it, itll have a couple music tracks (one new track?) and a wallpaper and some stickers. i think i know how modpacks work? anyways! so my friends came over on saturday. it was pretty fun, we played a live 8-person jackbox game that was very, very chaotic. my little brother came downstairs at one point, and i got him to join the audience of our Quiplash game, and someone got a super quip because he voted for his own name in one of the answers. we kinda died after that also we started to make a board game, it's about zombies n shit. it's not nearly finished but it's looking really fun so far!
anyways that's it. ok bye heart emoji
hypnospace Posted on February 11
dear diary:
i apologize for last night's post
anyways here this is the only thing i did today:
ive been playing this a lot. i think i wanna make a webring of it
Posted on February 10
ored game Posted on February 9
dear diary and bugsters:
hi so tomorrow im having people over and today i had people over and we started making a board game so i guess ill post about that more later? CAN WE GET THE YOUTUBE TO 500???
edit: also the links page has Every Music Streaming Link now.
fonts Posted on February 8
i made some fonts:
click on them to download them. thanks
too much view Posted on February 7
the website has almost 800k views which makes me think that it's just gonna keep going unto 1,000,000.. isnt that such a big number...? i'm still convinced only like 5 people read these posts. if you're reading this @ me on discord with .. like.. telling me. or a bad joke. thats better.
hopefully i get to hang out with friends on friday. thatll b e cool... sigh
coffeebug trivia 1: "new year" has a vylet pony motif around 1:24
i am as unlikable as a toad, which is to say that i am, but only to weird people Posted on February 6
i'm posting today because i currently have a 6-day streak of posting.
i've been gender dysphoric today. also i slept really badly; 3 hours is not enough for me. i don't look or feel like a girl i think and it makes me feel awful.
i also have effectively 0 rizz. i have no idea how nobody likes me irl im cool enough... i mean that not just for dating but for friends too. i can be good at the piano and yap about nes games if you want me too... or i can talk about other stuff... im eclectic and i know im awesome... come on!!! how do i have no rizz!!!! fuck you!!! how does nobody ffucking like me... come on... i try my best .. is it my awful social skillls???? hhhelppppp meeeeeee............. i do not apologize for my sleep deprived rant because it is true and that is the point of the blog
DEAR DIARY IT HAS BEEN THREE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY ONE DAYS SINCE MY LAST MUSIC COMMISSION. IM RUNNING LOW ON WATER AND CANNED SOUP. IM PLANNING TO GO OUTSIDE AND CHECK RADIATION LEVELS SOON. NOT TODAY. SOMETHING IS CRAWLING AROUND MY BASE... WHAT IS THAT... AAAHHH!! AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (im dead)
year of creation Posted on February 5
i'm posting today because i currently have a 5-day streak of posting.
i had this idea for a "year of creation" that involves me finally taking the initiative to create everything i've been wanting to! here's everything i wanted to make:
[ ] A zine
[ ] An RPGMaker game
[ ] A Roblox experience? Or whatever that Roblox alternative is that I loved
[ ] A board/card game
[ ] Another EP/album (planned)
[ ] A game in a new engine (NESmaker, Godot, Pico-8?)
[ ] A public Minecraft server
[ ] A comic
my dream project, however, would be an MMO, and i'd have to learn to really code for something like that. i REALLY want my own MMO, and i hope one day i get to create one.. i'm not much for coding, though. but i think i could learn... i do kind of want something like manyland where everyone can create their own thing; i've seen that these types of games have way better longevity with player-produced content. (think any game with a huge modding scene!)
anyways... one day i'll be able to have one. maybe one day i can get STPR online and play that! that'd be so cool! speaking of that, it's going great, by the way. i think. progress is slow, but we have zero deadline, and everyone's a little busy all the time, so i don't mind waiting a while for a new level. isn't that cool? anyways, i'm working on a new project... it may or may not be related to the checklist. also bye . love u
THE BUG IS ONLINE Posted on February 4
MIDIfreak (and soon HSN) is on streaming services!
Instagram - just search "coffeebug" or "midifreak" in audio TikTok - just search "coffeebug" or "midifreak" in audio, same thing
coming soon: itunes/apple music :3, PLUS i'm getting HSN on there :)
STREAMING SERVICES Posted on February 3
dear bugsters:
MIDIFREAK WILL BE ON SPOTIFY, INSTAGRAM, APPLE MUSIC, AND ITUNES sometime in the next week. i know nobody asked for this but i would love it if you streamed the shit outta them when they're up -- ill show you immediately when they do. i love you. thank you.
p.s. "Sticks n Bugs" is testing on EVERY distrokid streaming service - include youtube music.
groundhog day Posted on February 2
dear diary:
i woke up today super exhausted and also low on food. i haven't been able to eat anything so i'm basically running on hopes and dreams, so that's cool :) ill probably go home early today because i can. happy groundhogs day!!! p.s. link's awakening is fucking adorable and makes me want to make an rpgmaker game in the style.. maybe :)
it's a new month Posted on February 1
dear diary:
JANUARY SUCKED!
anyways! it's now been one entire year since my last commission, so if you'd like to get one, it'd be really fucking awesome. today i'm kind of updating the website, maybe? polishing some shit i didn't before. anyways! i'm excited for feburary because i'm owed money. and then i can spend it. and that'd be awesome. this week i've worked on The Super Duper Secret Project and The Normal Amount of Secret Project. spoilers for both were shared on the neocities discord.
the vent part of the post:
i kind of hate myself! i've been eating less! looking worse! feeling more and more detached from myself every single day. i don't know how to solve this problem. i just feel less and less like a girl every day. my outfits and personality are disgusting and i don't really know who i am anymore. i'm losing it! being around anyone makes me want to scream! the only friend group that i have makes me feel boyish and stupid to be around but the problem there is that they're literally my only friends! i have nobody else! i want to die. i want to die . i want to die. it's not getting better it's not getting better its not getting better its not getting better its not getting better its not getting better ints not getting better its not getting better its not getting better its not getting betters its not getting betters its nnot getttin g btter its not gettting betertn in gtsg rting better its nnot
January ()))
my weekend #10 Posted on January 29
dear diary:
this weekend went by way too fast!
anyways - so i've been working on my top-silly-top-secret project this week, it's going really good! i had like a 4 day streak where i just made a song every single day. i'm also experimenting with SynthV for this project, and even though i don't really like the base Eleanor voice but i've been able to modify it to a point that i like. i really like the first song i made with her in it. in other stuff -- ive been working on the new site layout, kind of lately, and it looks okay! not great, but okay! i also went to the mall this weekend, i bought bananagrams which isnt a game so much as it is a bag of little neuron activation tiles, i guess? ive had a special interest in letters since i was like 6, the only difference now is that it has evolved to also include fonts. so having a bag of a bunch of little letters is like ... brain candy.
i think i'm lucky to be able to blog, maybe? i really like blogging and its nice to get to write all of my thoughts down somewhere. and you can learn more about me if you want, too, by reading all of my blog posts - i've made- WOW! 128 blog posts, by my count! i thought i was still at, like, 80! ...anyways, thank you for following my journey through life so far. i hope to be able to blog far into the future with you, and i hope i never stop writing, even if i do slow down, that would be okay. my current goal is at least once every week, which i think i've been doing just fine, and if i slow, then it'd be once a month, but i'd probably end up writing longer posts - i was thinking how i didnt really want to write a blog post this morning but i probably should, and now here i am with this whole essay n stuff, so i guess i like it.
anyways, thank you for reading.
cloudy Posted on January 24
dear bugsters:
short post: here's both background gifs
old:
new:
bandcamp and music Posted on January 19
dear diary: i just realized while listening to vansire you can play After Filmore County and then, directly after, play The Modern WEstern World AND THEY WILL CONNECT. fuck i love music transitions.. this is beautiful. cross-album transition.
i've been listening to more music lately. i bought all of Hot Dad's discography on bandcamp and i've been listening to some of the songs over and over again, and that made me just want to keep buying stuff on it. next up i think i'm gonna get Vylet Pony, Vansire, glass beach, and this new one i found, HALLEY LABS. also HOLY SHIT PLASTIC DEATH IS OUT.gonna start listening to it right now :) ill give my first thoughts rn also - haunted sticky notes hasn't been doing well in sales (i have exactly one from preorders) and that's it. but that's okay!
plastic death thoughts as i listen
coelacanth - godd i love this piano it's perfect.. j's (?) voice getting deep is so soothing oh my god this song is 6 minutes long. very interesting chords here.. that's usual for them, reminds me of rare animal. i wanna say this is in 6/8 and switches to 9/8 every third measure? it's in something fucking weird, that's what. his (?) voice slurring so often is so entrancing i wanna say.. ughhhh. i love this i don't know what instrument is doing arps electric fucking banjo? i'm gonna stop rambling this song makes me want to burn something down.
motions - guys is this motherfucker okay??? im worried
slip under the door - why is this one so fucking mysterious? is glass beach ok? are they ok??
(i had to stop listening at rare animal - but ive heard that one before, obviously, bcause its on my little TV thing)
basically my week i guess Posted on January 18
dear diary: i kind of forgot that i had a blog. anyways, im sitting in class right now and the melatonin i took lst night was too much and its still kicking in. i want to sleep. my fucking teacher is YAPPING, she always says SO MUCH with little meaning behind her words; she could say a lot less and mean a lot more and maybe then i'd actually listen to her.
i kind of like streaming. even though nobody watches my streams i like it when people do and i can work on a song with them. thats fun... so ive been doing it more, working on songs for STPR and bugs extras. STPR is going great, btw. we've been working on world 2 and we have some levels down - yesterday i started the town and i have this idea that i want to add stars to the town so you can collect a bunch of them from the town, but thatd require replacing all the smb3 roulettes with starts and redoing the HUD code but i think im gonna anyways. i requested everybodyedits gravity arrows from mrnameless and he pretty much finished them yesterday, theyre really fucking cool in smbx. i think they could be used well for a puzzle in mario. you can even cling to walls like ee, it's really cool. i haven't really been planning the ghost character so i might scrap the idea. (context: stp2 had a ghost character planned called "brooke" (thats my name!) that would follow you. i havent been able to nail a new design for them that's easy to draw.) but other than that stpr has been going along really well, i like every member of the revenge team and it's actually really cool to share all my ideas and secrets and trivia with my team, and its really cool to see the evolution of stp from a stupid smb romhack side project to a full game that has a whole bunch of people working on it. i hope i can pay them back somehow, although they probably wont ask for payment because theyre not doing something you would usually ask for money for -- like my team is level designers and programmers and stuff, i handle all the music. i really like the soundtrack, btw. i think it fucks.
apart from that -- this week we had a four-day weekend because we had a snow day and mlk day. so. all i did, ALL weekend, was play skyrim. thats all i did. i completed the companions quest and the civil war and the theieves guild and a bunch of word walls and ive just been playing around with everything because its such a massive game andi love it. idk if itll inspire anything in stpr, because theyre so different, but i did reference the game in stpr. "this is my cat (i named him ulfric) he's kinda rude". ok i m done talking im gonna talk a nap now. except im not actually done talking oops
i think im a therian? i like the idea of identifying more as a dog (lol) and i like barking. so ive been experimenting with that on tumblr, because they dont care if im cringe. idk if this website cares if im cringe or if anyones even fucking reading this, because neocities SAYS i get a couple thousand visitors a day, but i dont believe that for shit, i feel like i get like 12 visitors a day. i will buy all 12 of you a little friendship bracelet for reading this post, okay? oh yeah i forgot about the tomodachi apartments... i need to update them again - everythings on backlog because i needed to update the javascript and i also needed to add a bunch more people i PROMISE ill do it eventually just not right now ok?!
thank you for reading my melatonin induced crazy rant about everything i love you be cringe
class Posted on January 8
dear diary:
classes start again today. i have economics first hour and i gotta say it was probably the longest hour of my entire life. next hour i have a new english teacher. that'll be interesting.
anyways, i updated my bucket list and made a page for the mp3 player. i might have a major site redesign eventually, but who knows. i'm pretty busy right now, and not really good at web design, which is why this page is just a box. see ya
revenge team Posted on January 4
dear bugsters:
if you'd like to work on Super Terrible Project: Revenge (my SMBX episode) contact me on discord, midifreak
edit jan. 6: today i'm releasing bug's extras, an album comprised (currently) completely of STPR music.
wasting away Posted on January 3
dear diary:
this week ive been having a bit of trouble doing,,... anything? i guess im just burnt out on EVERYTHING because i have no energy haven't played piano for a while because i'm so burnt out from HSN... bad thing is i still have work left to do on the album. hopefully i can get into a state where i'm able to do everything. anyways, so this year's goals are:
- release 2 albums
- finish at least 1 project and release it
- be more adventurous
- spend more time with people i care about
